Just needed an excuse
by Lacreta
Summary: your typical ‘shikamaru uses shadow copy no jutsu on sasuke for ino’ with a twist. rated for language and some naughty stuff. shikaino oneshot


Disclaimer: I own this chewed up pencil on my right, this can of soda, but that's just about it. (cries)

I know I should be updating my other story but…XD

Warning: This fic is something that just randomly popped into my head at 1 am, I am high on caffeine right now so forgive me if the characters may be a bit OOC. And lastly, don't try what Ino did, EVER. But I wouldn't stop you if you decide to do it anyway ;)

**-o-O-o-**

"So basically, I just use my kage mane no jutsu and hold him in place."

"Yeah." Ino said, grinning cheekily.

"—And after that, you'll leave me alone for the whole month?"

"Yeah." Ino said, grinning cheekily.

"…"

Shikamaru squinted suspiciously at the blonde. Hell would freeze over the day Yamanaka Ino would ever offer a pest-free holiday in exchange of a simple favor, and that day just happened to be right now.

He momentarily turned away from the clouds to give her a scrupulous stare. "Is that _all_?"

"Yeah." Ino said, grinning cheekily.

Very suspicious indeed.

Shikamaru considered the offer. Yes it would be very nice to watch the clouds alone without troublesome people around, even if he had to whip himself dead. And weighing the pros and cons, he decided that in was a sort of win-win situation.

He shrugged nonchalantly and shifted his position on the grass. "Fine."

It was just too bad that he completely missed the mischievous glint Ino's eyes had attained.

**-o-O-o-**

Wednesday, 10 am, in the forest:

A rustle.

They hid behind the bushes, bodies tense and breathing labored. A bead of sweat had rolled down Shikamaru's face, partly because of the adrenaline rush you get whenever you spy,but mostly because he was worried for his wellbeing if ever he failed. Ino was so going to kill him.

The girl beckoned him with a slight wave of her fingers.

Three.

Two.

Another rustle.

One!

Shikamaru immediately lunged for the Uchiha, performing a quick set of difficult hand seals and activating his Shadow Copy jutsu.

Sasuke turned too late and was surprisingly caught unawares by his shadow, promptly immobilizing him on the spot.

"WhoO-HooO! Good going Shikamaru!" Ino pounced from the bush she was hiding in, doing her victor jingle.

"Well that was…troublesome…" Shikamaru's brows knitted together slightly in disbelief.

Truth to be told, Shikamaru wasn't expecting the GREAT Uchiha Sasuke to ever let his guard down. But capturing him, or in this case, his shadow, had been far too easy.

The Nara tried testing his control over the Uchiha's movements. He lifted his arms and did the mcdonald's pose, forming a big m on his head.

Sasuke copied his movements perfectly, glaring all the way.

"Now it's time for step 2 of the plan!" Ino yelled, bouncing in excitement.

Shikamaru discreetly rolled his eyes and settled back into his slouched posture. "Whatever, just make it quick so this can be over with…"

"Pull down your shorts."

Shikamaru had been doing his job professionally and quite well for the past few minutes, that is, until the whole universe screeched to a halt.

Sasuke stared at her in horror, Shikamaru mirrored his expression. "What?"

"I said—"

"I heard that part." Shikamaru cut in rudely. "Ino, I know you're dying to see how big the Uchiha is, but has it ever occurred to you, that you'll be seeing my '_little friend_' as well?"

"Oh come on Shikamaru," Ino whined. "We used to take a bath together all the time!"

The Nara colored a bit at how that might have sounded. "That was when we were little kids," he snapped. "Besides, why don't you do it yourself?"

Ino crossed her arms and stuck her nose up the air haughtily. "Because it's improper."

Shikamaru failed to see the sense in her reasoning, but decided that pointing it out to someone as pig headed as Ino would be a waste of saliva. His eyes narrowed. "And what _you're_ telling _me_ to do _isn't_?"

Ino scanned her nails briefly before meeting his gaze. "Come on Shikamaru, forget about self-consciousness, because honestly, I can still remember how your wiener looked like when you were little."

No amount of words could describe Shikamaru's expression, the only thing Ino could identify clearly was the horrible blush even his tanned complexion couldn't hide. But he didn't have the decency to sputter. "This isn't about me being _self-conscious, _this is about human dignity. So, no, I'm absolutely not doing this."

Sasuke had to admit, this was getting pretty amusing.

"Why not?" She demanded, Shikamaru noted that her aura had flared dangerously. "Give me three _good_ reasons you still haven't mentioned."

Ino could almost hear his teeth grinding. "_Because,_ it's weird, it's wrong…and frankly, it just disturbs me."

"But Shikaaaaa—kuuunn—"

Shikamaru scowled at her. "How would _you_ like baring your chest to the whole world?"

"Shikamaru, it's only me, you and Sasuke-kun—"

"That's not the _point_!" Shikamaru made frustrated hand motions which Sasuke was forced to copy. "Fine, let me rephrase that to your liking then," He bit out sarcastically. "How would you like baring your chest _to me and Sasuke_?"

Ino looked absolutely homicidal for a moment, but then a sly grin slowly stretched across her face. Deft fingers reached for the binds on her waist, slowly removing it inch by inch.

She's bluffing, just bluffing, his mind thought. Shikamaru watched her in a bored, irritated expression.

Ino tossed the discarded items down the ground before she gave the Nara a heart stopping, sexy smile.

His taciturn façade slipped away almost immediately, Shikamaru gulped unconsciously.

She reached for the hem of her shirt and—

"OKAY! OKAY! Geez!" Shikamaru went a little red at the corner of his cheekbones.

"You'll do it?" Ino asked hopefully.

"No."

Ino glared at Shikamaru challengingly as she yanked her shirt up higher.

"L-look," Shikamaru said quickly. He glanced around desperately, sweat running down his neck. "What if someone happens to pass by, what do you think will come into his mind when he sees two guys pointing their dicks at each other?"

"Shikamaru, it's only _me_, _you_ and _Sasuke-kun_—"

"That's _not_ the _point_." He gritted out. "Ino, let's just drop this okay?"

Ino started stamping her foot like a spoiled kid who wanted candy. "Shikamaru! How can you be so mean! You promiiiissseeddd!"

A tick had started to develop on the muscle underneath Shikamaru's left eye. He recalled quite clearly that he hadn't made any promises.

"I'm not doing it." He said flatly, arms crossed in a stubborn stance. But his resolve started to quiver when Ino sunk down to the ground and began to cry.

It is a rare occasion to see Shikamaru, who never lets his cool down, get flustered. If that is so, then Ino must also be a genius purposely flunking. "A-alright already, I'll do anything you want me to."

"—Anything but that." He added quickly.

Sasuke snorted, any ninja would know that she was faking it. He wondered why someone with an exceptionally humongous amount of intelligence couldn't notice that. But after a wry moment of comtemplation, he came to the conclusion that love_ is_ blind.

"Damnit Ino, stop crying already!"

Ino measured Shikamaru's desperation carefully. It seems that she had riled him up enough to make him do her every bidding.

Her face brightened up too quickly, almost too suspiciously.

"You've trained your kage mane no jutsu enough to force your victim to copy what you say right?"

Sasuke winced at the word 'victim'.

Shikamaru glared at her. Damn, fell for her trick again.

"Then—" Ino started in a sing-song voice. "I want Sasuke to say 'I love you Ino-_chan_', staring straight at my eyes. And I want it with emotion, like a—um, like he's been aching for me all his life. That he's been so heartsick that he'd want to die if he can't have me."

Shikamaru just stared incredulously at her rant, an irritated scowl plastered on his face but the huge flush made him look all the more adorable. Ino stopped herself halfway from swooning.

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like troublesome. "And you'll lay off on me after that?"

"Of course!" Ino beamed.

Ino stared expectantly at him, Shikamaru's body had suddenly gone curiosly rigid and his palms were clammy. He could feel heat on his cheeks; he just hoped he wasn't blushing. Shikamaru took a deep inaudible breath as he made eye contact with Ino and injected more emotion in his usual Shikamaru deadpan.

"I love you Ino-chan." The Nara and Uchiha said together.

Ino squealed triumphantly.

She'd been fantasizing this moment countless times and it wasn't near as heavenly as how it felt during the real thing.

He had finally, finally confessed!

This was like a dream come true!

Ino just stared at Shikamaru with a dreamy smile, reveling in her victory.

Before long, Shikamaru had begun to feel uneasy. "…W-what? Did I do it wrong?"

Shikamaru squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze for a while longer, before getting tackled mercilessly down the ground by the kunoichi.

"I love you too Shika-kun!"

**-o-O-o-**

Thursday, 1 pm, in the middle of nowhere:

"Sasuke-kun! I'm glad you passed by this afternoon—"

Sasuke had zoned her out just about then. Ino had started ranting about how Shikamaru this and Shikamaru that and other shitty things he didn't want to hear anyway.

"—if it weren't for your shockingly convincing acting skills, I wouldn't be going out with Shika-kun right now—insert squeal—so what I wanted to say was, thanks!"

Finally.

"Hnnnn…" He answered tonelessly. "Whatever, just leave me alone."

It seemed like Ino didn't hear however, she had already gone her merry little way.

Yes, Uchiha Sasuke could still quite remember the day they had executed her 'plan'. He had worn 4 layers of shorts just in case it backfired and the deer kid actually gained the balls to show his fucking dick

But he still couldn't begin to fathom why an aggressive, loudmouthed nuisance like that blond couldn't say 'I love you' straight to the bum's face and instead, had resorted to a painfully elaborate scheme. Other than that, it was a humungous waste of time and effort on his part. After all, she _only_ needed an excuse to confess her _undying love_.

Women.

Sasuke decided to end his inner rantings right there. And after making absolutely sure that she was out of sight, Sasuke got a little navy notebook with FANGIRLS written in bold from his pocket and flipped a few pages. Skimming the list of words arranged alphabetically, he finally got to letter I and carefully crossed out 'Ino' with a bright red marker.

Well, now that he had _that_ off his back… Sasuke almost skipped, though he wouldn't of course, to his training grounds, probably in the best mood he had had in years.

**-o-O-o-**

Basically, it started out when I asked myself what perverted stuff Shikamaru could do with his jutsu, and then it went like this: How Ino would confess her love to Shikamaru if she can't do it straight to his face + what she'd do to show Shikamaru that she'll pick him over Sasuke + excessive caffeine + this nifty hentai doujinshi ;) (it corrupts the mind) and then it equates to: this story

You'll notice that Sasuke lacks dialogue (he only said one snotty line) but I hope the inner musings in the deep recesses of his mind made up for it. Also, keep in mind that in case by some twisted luck, Shikamaru did pull down his shorts, then that would be Ino's little bonus. Hehehehe

I'm sorry for typos, wrong grammar and the details I got wrong. I just made up some of the stuff along the way to make the story work. I'm clueless about some of the things in Naruto, so SORRY! XD Feel free to criticize, flame, and of course, review.

Ok, I'll stop ranting randomly now. I'm high on caffeine, really really high.


End file.
